A chronicle of Random things
by Just-a-Nightmare
Summary: The title says it all. Chairs through windows, wrecking of random areas, killing of Kairi himuliation and crap beaten out of Ansem often. Randomness beware. No plot what so ever...
1. Vandalism

**Random piece we (My brother and I) decided we write. You don't have to like it but we felt like posting it.**

**Disclaimer: HAHA you're joking I'll never own it.**

Vandalism

"Anybody have more coins? I'm out!" Sora whined kicking a pinball machine.

"Just smash the machine and take the coins." Riku said watching Sora hands on his hips.

"Oh yaaaa…" Sora turned back to the pinball machine studying it.

"Um…I need something to break it open with." Sora said looking at Riku. Riku pulled out a bat handing it to Sora.

"This will work wont it?" Riku said picking up a rock and throwing it at kids on the merry-go-round.

"Yay bat! Look I have a bat! Die evil pinball machine that stole my coins!" Sora starts beating the machine to a pulp.

"Over kill don't you think?" Riku picked up a paint can throwing it at another kid on the merry-go-round.

"No! I killed it because it's evil. Evil deserves to die! Die evil die!" Sora goes around beating up random people. Riku takes out a paint ball gun loading it.

"I agree evil needs to die. Wakka die!" Riku starts shooting at Wakka who was eating a pizza.

"What the hell. Riku! Stop you insane guy of stuff." Wakka throws his pizza at Riku's head. Riku gets smacked by the pizza running around still shooting his paint ball gun.

"Evil flying pizza!" Sora stops beating up people to watch Riku run into a wall.

"Hey a nickel." Sora said bending down to grab the coin. A root beer bottle flying over his head.

"Damn you. You dodged the flying bottle by using the nickel technique. I will get you yet keyblade master!" Ansem said laughing evilly on top of the counter.

"Ansem the evil guy of heartless evilness!" Kairi threw a dog at Ansem knocking him off the counter and into a bowl of nacho cheese.

"Cheesy Ansem!" Sora runs around the arcade screaming about attacking underwear.

"Let start a fire! I got the gasoline!" Selphie said dancing around in circles.

"Fire? Fire! Fire! I got the match!" Riku jumped up from his earlier position after running into the wall.

"Not before I throw this chair out the window!" Tidus tossed a chair threw the window duh!

"I love lamp!" Wakka ran around searching through the wreckage before grabbing a shotgun.

"Look at what I found! A flame thrower!" Sora had turned on a defenseless stuffed animal burning it to ashes.

"I'm back and cheese free! Look at my evil book of hitting!" Ansem went around smacking 4 year old kids.

"Pick on someone your own size you old meanie!" Kairi said slapping Ansem.

"Old meanie am I? Die you red head bitch! No one likes you anyways!" Ansem conjured up his evil dark power stuff crispyfying Kairi.

"Ding Dong the red head bitch is dead!" Ansem laughed evilly a trident spearing him in the ass.

"My perfect ass! How dare you, all must die!" Ansem goes around chocking any person closest to him.

"Stop your ruining my arcade!" An older guy walks in cane in hand.

"You! You're the evil guy that made the machines take my coins. My coins! You must rot in hell!" Sora grabs Wakka's shotgun shooting the old man dead.

"Burn baby, burn!" Riku ran around throwing kids in the fire.

"Muhaha! Let the bodies hit the floor!" Riku starts doing a victory dance.

"Hey Ansem it for you." Tidus walks up handing Ansem the phone.

"Hello-" Ansem gets budged over the head with a large oversized humongous metal transforming bunny.

" Party at the Arcade! Whoop!" Selphie yelled spraying coke all over the place.

"The roof is on fire!" Sora and Riku are dancing to techno music the arcade a mess behind them.

"Literally!" All said in unison. And so the party continued until the arcade burned down and they found a new building.

**TBC**

**A chronicle of Random things! Review if you want!**


	2. Road Trip

**We're back and writing more random things! Can you believe people like this randomness? Yay random loving people!**

**Disclaimer: Dont own it, nothing I swear...**

Road Trip

"Road Trip!" The group including Ansem were pilled in the back of the truck.

"Where are we going?" Selphie asked squished up against the window.

"Las Vegas baby!" Sora said throwing a fist in the air only to punch Ansem in the face.

"We have plenty of things to do on the way there." Kairi pulled out Riku's stuff bag from the back.

"With Tinkerbell driving we don't have to worry about crashing" Tidus said digging through the bag of stuff. Tinkerbell is a cat.

"Oh my favorite paint cans!" Riku grabbed a paint can opening a window and tossing it at a passing car.

"Aren't you supposed to open it first?" Sora asked searching through music.

"No that's the whole point silly!" Riku continues throwing paint cans out the window.

"Why do I have to come along?" Ansem said miserably in the middle of the others.

"Because were black mailing you, and we needed a chaperone!" Riku said grabbing a hand full of super hot nachos.

"Ya, unless you want us to say you wear pink pajamas and seep with a teddy bear to the whole world of evil stuff." Wakka said eating pizza, while sitting on the floor.

"What! I do not! I'll let you know women like sensitive men." Ansem said pulling out his teddy bear hugging it.

"It's a grenade!" Riku pulls out what appears to be a grenade.

"Uh…I think that's a pineapple man." Wakka said poking it with a stick.

"No! It's a grenade! Watch!" Riku pulled the pin tossing it out the window. A loud boom followed by several explosions are heard.

"Ten car pill up!" Riku said doing a victory dance. The others were starring at the carnage behind them.

"Guess it was a grenade." Tidus said unblinking from the scene.

"Where did you get a grenade?" Kairi asked looking at Riku and his victory dance looking similar to the Macarena.

"I don't know!" Riku sat down searching through his bag once again.

"I found it! Road Trip music!" Sora said holding up a cd. He put it in the CD player.

"The wheels on the bus go round and round!" Sora and the others sang along to the music. Ansem trying his best to block out the noise.

"NOOOOOO! PLEASE I BEG OF YOU!" Ansem screamed in the back.

---------------------LAS VEGAS--------------------

"Las Vegas finally! I can't take more than 5 hours of wheels on the bus." Ansem was lying on the ground.

"Wow look at all the pretty lights!" Selphie ran around knocking old people to the ground.

"Lets go live it up!" Riku said running to a casino near by.

"Aren't you to young to gamble?" Ansem asked as the others joined Riku.

"You kidding that's what fake idea are for!" Sora said pulling out a card that had some hairy guy on it.

-------------In casino------------

"What do you know they let us in." Ansem was being dragged along to a poker table.

"Poking table!" Sora went around the table poking everybody.

"I'm all in!" Ansem said pushing his chips forward.

"CHIPS!" Riku grabbed the chips trying to eat them. He spit out the chips sending them flying all over the table.

"Nasty chips!" Riku ran off to the bar.

"Let's dance!" Selphie and Kairi ran back stage of a strip club thingy.

"Tidus! Remember the arcade?" Wakka said with a shoe in hand.

"Oh the you mean the building we burned down after trashing it?" Tidus said playing with the slot machine.

"Yep! We're gonna have a repeat." Wakka said pointing at Riku who was throwing liquor bottles around.

"I saw that show Las Vegas and it sucked!" Sora threw a cow patty at Riku.

"Ewe cow patty!" Kairi said jumping down from the strip stage. She grabbed a hose blasting Riku with it.

"I'm melting!" Riku ran around avoiding the water.

"Mommy! I want my mommy. This machine ate my quarter." Tidus said pointing at the machine in question.

"I can save your quarter!" Sora ran out with underwear over his head and a bat in his hand.

"I love fire!" Selphie stuffed a bottle with a rag lighting the rag on fire. She then tossed the bottle at the bar setting it in an inferno.

"Feel my wrath!" Riku was throwing chips at people trying to escape from the casino. Sora was in the back round beating up machines with his almighty bat.

"I must throw the chair through the glass window!" Tidus obviously threw the chair through a glass window.

"I'm hungry! Where did Ansem go?" Wakka said looking through the mess. Ansem was outside painting the town red literary.

"The lights must die! With out light there will only be darkness!" Ansem was floating above the city absorbing the electricity.

"Water balloon!" Riku tossed a water balloon at Ansem electrifying him.

"Look I can fly." Riku and Sora were flying around making fart sounds.

"Ansem…Ansem I'm hungry!" Ansem stood up, his hair standing up and smoke rising from his body.

"DAMN YOU!" Ansem said through clenched teeth.

"I found a hot dog but it's cold." Tidus said appearing out of the burning casino. He looked at his hotdog pitifully.

"Here give it to me." Ansem took Tidus's hotdog holding it for a minute. He handed it back to Tidus.

"Oh it's warm! Yay hotdog!" Tidus ate his hotdog in one bite.

"Let's go home already!" Ansem gathered all the kids into the truck.

"Tinkerbell to home!" Sora said putting in a cd.

"Look it's that old man form the arcade." Wakka was pointing in front of him at an old man with a cane.

"I though you killed him Sora?" Riku asked looking at the guy. He had shotgun holes through him.

"So did I!" Sora shrugged looking at Riku. They both smirked evilly before turning to Tinkerbell the cat who was driving.

"Run him over!" They said in unison.

**TBC**

**That wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. Don't worry will have a better story later**


	3. WTF?

**Welcome to another random tale!**

JaN: I love the reviews ppl. Keep them coming and will have chapters up!

JaN's brother: Invite all the spirits in and let them guide you!

JaN: Okay…umm ignore him I use his ideas. But there good random thing right?

JaN's bro: If you look at the wall it helps you come up with crazy things to write. Love Duck!

JaN: Is he really related to me? I must be adopted! What the hell is Love Duck?

JaN's bro: Disclaimer we do not own Kingdom Hearts just the lovely random thing they say!

JaN: Yes listen to him! I don't want to be sued. On with the story!(Really ppl this is a real person I am speaking with I am not going crazy despite the crazy, insane random things I write)

WTF?

"Riku why are we at a church?" Sora was scratching his head looking confused at the building in front of him. It had a more Gothic architecture feel.

"Because this is the church Ansem attends! I want to check it out!" Riku lead the way throwing the door open skipping to the hall thing.

"Ansem attends church! WTF?" Tidus jaw nearly hit the ground at the mentioned. Selphie was examining a near by candle with much interest.

"I love fire!" Selphie screamed. Wakka was flipping through a travel guide of sorts on the church.

"No Selphie! Bad Selphie! Don't touch the candle!" Kairi was smacking Selphie over the head with a newspaper.

"What the hurd is this ruckus!" A man walked out in an orange colored robe thing.

"Orange? You look like a pumpkin! A giant pumpkin!" Sora started poking the dude with a stick.

"How dare you insult a High Roy of the House of Vallicore?" The orange robed man yelled waving his arm in the air like a chicken or something.

"Vallicore? WTF?" Wakka was starring at the guy in orange robes.

"I am High Roy, Shall Flourish."

"Umm…okay. We are here to see the church Ansem goes too." Kairi said, Selphie still struggling to grab the candle.

"Ansem! We use no outside names in the House of Vallicore! You speak of Flower." Shall Flourish said pointing to a picture of a guy who looked like a Viking.

"You called High Shall Flourish?" Ansem stepped out dressed in a pink robe.

"You have visitors. I need to name you as we use no outside names. Hmm let's see." While orange robed guy thought of names Ansem noticed who the "visitors" were.

"Holy Shit!" Ansem pointed an accusing finger at the six standing for him.

"Hiya Ansem! Umm I mean Flower." Selphie said jumping up and down laughing all the while.

"You shall die! I will rip you all apart and burn your intestines, savoring the momen-" Ansem was cut off when the orange dude smacked him in the back of the head with a 2x4.

"Flower we are in the House of Vallicore!" Ansem through dirty looks at the people. While they laughed at his pain.

"Bust out in song!" Riku said running around the chapel area.

"Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns Kids with guns!" Sora said spinning around before throwing up on the orange guy.

"WTF? When did they get so…" The orange guy said gagging at the site of his robes.

"Random or Psycho?" Ansem asked looking at the kids.

"Lighters Fluid! And fire! Very combustible!" Selphie ran around spraying the other orange robed guy with the liter fluid.

"Target practice Riku!" Sora chucked the booklets at High Roy Shall Flourish.

"This is how it's done Sora." Riku threw a chair at Shall hitting him directly.

"W-why do you do this? I did noth-" He passed out before he finished.

"Cause we have no attention span and what's better to do then create mayhem?" Sora said poking Shall with a sick to see if he was still alive.

"Nope he's dead." Sora walked off to join the fun.

"Let's bring the house down!" Riku said swinging from a chandler. Ansem was stuffing all the sliver and gold items in a bag.

"Don't you attend this church?" Kairi asked holding the bag for him.

"Ye but that bastard named me flower, dressed me in pink robes and hit me with a 2x4." Ansem stated matter of factly.

"Still…" Kairi trailed off.

"What do you question the future ruler of darkness? I know all you are is a stupid read head bitch. No one likes you. Now fuck off!"

"Damn PMS…" Kairi walked away flipping her hair.

"I heard that! Now you die!" Ansem again crispyfying Kairi.

"How did she come back last time anyways?" Sora asked sweeping Kairi's ashes under the rug.

"Dunno ask the authors they wrote it." Riku said throwing a mattress into the fire Selphie started and was now dancing around.

"Hey you know what?" Sora said

"Umm what?" Riku adding a computer to the fire.

"Wakka and Tidus disappeared." Sora said looking around the room.

"I noticed that. Hey author dudes where are they?" Riku asked JaN and her brother who were eating cake.

"Umm…I forgot." JaN said a sweat drop appearing.

"Didn't we send them to Sea World?" JaN's brother said not concerned with anything but his cake.

"Oh ya…oops." JaN shrugged going back to her cake.

"Sea World?" Riku and Sora said in unison. Mouthing the words 'WTF?'

"Yep. Oh and one more thing. We got bored and we lost interest in this story so that arcade guy that you killed each chapter is coming. He's going to perform suicide bombing so…" JaN said shrugging.

"Suicide bombing? WTF? Where the hell that come from?" Riku said eyes wide.

"So if you want to be in the future chapters. You might want to get your asses out of here." Continued JaN's brother still eating his cake.

BOOM!

"Yum cake!" JaN's brother said.

"WTF?" JaN said looking at her brother.

TBC

**LOL that made no sense at all…**

JaN: Vallicore? Where did you come up with that one?

JaN's bro: I don't know. I love cake!

JaN: Anyways the cake comes in because it's left over from my brothers 19th birthday. So that's where we got that idea.

JaN's bro: We also used things from the Gorillaz but we don't own that.

There was no point and if you try to figure out the point your extremely stupid. Anyways Review although I don't really mind if you review we are still gong to write.


	4. Birthday gone wrong

**Hola were back in full force why? Because it's SUMMER! Because it's summer we have a lot of time we have a lot of ideas. Random ideas and summer and ideas do not mix they get us in trouble, when they go wrong.**

Birthday gone wrong

"Birthday Party! We were invited to a Birthday Party!" Sora said bouncing on the cool castle looking moonwalk.

"Yay! But who's Birthday Party?" Wakka asked balancing a ball on his head, while bouncing around in the cool looking moonwalk.

"ARBAK!" A random kid in the background yelled while running away from Riku "trying" to hit a piñata blindfolded with a sword.

"Wasn't it that kids umm that kid?" Selphie said pointing to "that kid" with big glasses standing in the corner. (AN: Sorry if I offended any kid with big glasses standing in the corner! XD)

"I'll beat you up with my almighty fpoon! Muhahaha!" Ansem laughed evilly attacking a poor defenseless bowl of ice-cream.

"What the hell is a fpoon?" Kairi asked in normal bitching manner.

"AND who invited Ansem?" Tidus said dancing with a pickle.

"I invited myself and a fpoon is a spoon spelt with a F because…….umm just because!"

"Look! I'm swimming in a pickle tub eating pickles! Wee!" Roxas (AN: Enter Roxas!) said obviously swimming in a pickle tub where did he get a tub? And eating pickles.

"Hey…..I wanna join that! Cannon Ball!" Tidus joined Roxas in the tub of pickle juice eating pickles.

"God Damn piñata! Why won't you just die! GRRRRR!" Riku was swinging away at the piñata he failed miserably to hit each time.

"Look a giant Oreo!" Sora stood proudly next to his giant Oreo that really was a tire form a monster truck! How the hell do you mistake a tire and a giant Oreo? Ones like tar or something and the others junky food goodness! Umm back to the story!

* * *

"Finally! A victory for Riku the almighty person of victory! Evil piñata 0 Riku the almighty person of victory 1!" Riku successfully whacked the piñata and was now bragging about his hit but he was so distracted he didn't realize that the piñata was coming alive.

"YOU! RIKU -I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE LAST NAME! Will PAY FOR ATTACKING ME!" The piñata jumped Riku and was now attacking Riku however piñatas attack someone. Umm like ramming and tackling him umm you think of something you have imaginations.

"Why the hell do I hang out with these people I'm the only sane one! Hey you people who write this damn thing! Why am I in here?" Kairi said poking the authors.

"YO hold up don't poke the bear! You wont' like me when I angry!" JaN threatened.

"Why you'll turn all green and grow like six feet or something?" Kairi mocked still poking the authors.

"No this happens…" A piano randomly falls from a plain and crushes Kairi.

"Well Kairi the Bitch 0 JaN 1." JaN smiles evilly.

* * *

Meanwhile Riku and the piñata are still at war. The Piñata throws Riku on a table breaking it in half followed by an evil piñata laugh.

"Monkeys are fun." Selphie could be seen in the petting zoo with the monkeys dancing around. A sign just visible reading "DO NOT DANCE WITH THE MONKEYS".

Back to Riku and the piñata. The piñata we recently named Jose was looking for Riku who conveniently ran away screaming like a pequita ella (little girl). Riku was however hiding in a tree above Jose the piñata.

Riku jumped from the tree to tackle Jose the piñata. "Here's something for you to chew on asshole." Riku yelled punching the piñata. Riku began to pull off the beautiful colored paper streamers decorating Jose. He tore a hole open and began to pull out Jose's candy guts throwing them in the air. How gruesome.

"SAVE THE PINATAS!" Sora yelled an official badge of SP adorning his shirt.

* * *

"Time for the Happy Birthday!" The mother of "that kid" said. Everyone ran to the table because there was cake.

"Yay! We get to have cake!" Selphie, Wakka, Tidus and Roxas yelled at the same time.

"CAKE. CAKE. CAKE. CAKE. CAKE." Chanted Riku and Sora.

"Cake? Wait where's the cake?" The mother asked looking around.

"THERE'S NO CAKE HERE!" Ben yelled before running out of the house and down the street.

"No cake? NO CAKE! Minions attack!" Sora yelled children running out of the house while Sora and the gang began to wreak mayhem on the house.

"I'm going to throw two chairs through the window!" Tidus yelled grabbing the two chairs and throwing them through the windows.

"Why two?" Wakka asked about to throw a gallon of gasoline on the house.

"Why? Because I didn't get to through a chair through a window in the last chapter." Tidus answered before skipping off.

"Look I have a match and I make the house go boom." Selphie lit the house a blaze while Roxas threw cats and dogs from the roof of the burning house.

"Save the animals! Hey……it's raining cats and dogs!" Roxas continued his throwing of the animals.

"Tehe, I'm spiking the punch." Namine is seen on a Volleyball court with the punch.

"Hiya Ansem what you doing over here behind the bushes? Whatcha eating? Is that frosting?" Ansem looked or tried to look innocent while cleaning his face.

"H-he's eating the CAKE!" Sora yelled pointing a finger as Ansem.

"What n-no! What cake? I don't see no cake! Please I didn't awe!" Ansem was caught by Sora and Riku pounding him into oblivion.

Selphie came out riding on top of a Gorilla. The Gorilla grabbed Ansem and started to dance with him to "Feel Good Inc. by the Gorillaz" The Gorilla tossed Ansem into the air and waited for Ansem to come back down. Unfortunately he threw Ansem up with all his strength and he never came down.

They waited for awhile before returning back to the mayhem of the birthday party. "Monkeys are fun!" Selphie yelled.

* * *

**That was a weird end well it is 2… 2 late to be writing this. SO Review if not will still torture you with our random chronicles of stuff. I live to be random and annoying! Enjoy the long awaited update!**


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